SKUNK RADIO LIVE AUDITIONS
19-04-2019 22:21 GMT
Clutch Stingray
Rock Music Band
California, USA
Biography:
Clutch Stingray plays apocalypse rock on all acoustic instruments. After the EMP hits and everything electrical won’t work for a few years they will continue to perform as they do today. Because even in the apocalypse folks will want musicians to play because people want to party. “It’s country music—I just don’t know what “country” jokes Clutch from his living room in Barstow, California, “The music is eclectic and rocks”. The instruments used by the band include, but are not limited to includes guitars, acoustic bass, Irish bouzouki, mandolin, African thumb piano, and any number of things that click, clank and whir. It all adds up to the Clutch Stingray sound from meadow rock to Bluegrass from hell. Who is Clutch Stingray? We’ve known each other a long time. Clutch quit the band we were in named Sphinxter to join the Army. Partly because the good pay with benefits tire factory jobs had all moved to Brazil, or somewhere way down south--anyway the tire factories closed down one by one; the other factor was our band just wasn’t taking off. After our first song by Frank Zappa at our first gig, a Moose lodge mixer, someone in the crowd yelled, “Play some Aerosmith.” Our days were numbered in Akron, OH but our paths would cross again. So Clutch enlisted a few years back in the Army because he wanted to be hardcore, but not too hardcore, just hardcore enough. Not really a fan of camping he chose the field of computer programming only to find out he hated computer programming. So, he reclassified into the Finance field, Why Finance? He figured you were most likely in an air conditioned office and it was right across the parking lot so he just walked there. He soon found out no one likes payroll. “YOU, YOU DAMN IT, NO, YOU” yelled the First Sergeant. ”YES YOU.” “Get over here.” “Why aren’t you marching right?” “March from the waist down, FROM THE WAIST DOWN”, Top was livid. “Here just stand there and watch the others march—AND PAY ATTENTION” . . . Clutch wasn’t paying attention, he seldom did and he had just failed marching. He is actually quite awkward and I don’t understand how he can play music, but he does. I mean he couldn’t even march. Clutch liked the Army, but he didn’t pay attention and daydreamed a lot, Oh yeah—he played guitar a lot in the barracks soloing and daydreaming about gear and getting out of the Army. That old Army saying, “We do more before breakfast than most folks do all day” is true. It really is. I ended up working in HR where I didn’t pay attention and I doodled a lot. There’s an HR joke where an HR Officer died and appeared before ST Peter who said we always allow HR Officers to choose where they want to spend eternity in Heaven or Hell. She said take me to Heaven and he did. Heaven was nice and clean, and wholesome with many voices raised in praise. Soon the she became antsy and wanted to leave. The next day ST Peter then took her to Hell so she could see what it was like. Well, the music was playing, people were all dressed up in finery dancing, and the champagne was flowing. She recognized several of her old friends and they danced the night away. That night she smiled in her sleep and slept like a log. In the morning ST Peter appeared and asked her to choose. Will it be Heaven or Hell? She said, well, Heaven is nice and all with the cherubs and stuff; however, Hell was jumping, man, and I couldn’t get enough—I choose Hell. ST Peter said very well come with me, and he took her to hell. But things were different now, the people were in tattered clothes and it was smoky and hot, and they were screaming for help to end their suffering. The HR Officer asked ST Peter what had happened and he explained to her that yesterday she was in recruitment, but today she’s staff. It’s true . . . the thing I remember most about working in HR was the suffering. It’s all different now that the old band is back together, but we are not Sphinxter anymore that door has closed. Now, due to a coin toss we are Clutch Stingray a rock band from Barstow. And we’re normal again and people aren’t group scorning us anymore. Scorn Free . . . kinda’ sounds like a song . . . .
Music:
Share:
###
For rock music licensing, press releases, marketing, artist/band bookings and PR related enquiries, to submit music, or for general Skunk Radio Live/SRL Networks London Music PR inquiries please contact the music department at music-pr@srlnetworks.com
###